Moving on from a failed relationship can be very difficult and finding the strength to get into another one takes a lot of effort but all that work can become futile when the wantaway lover returns.
When your lover broke up with you, you probably felt hurt and had to find a coping mechanism to move on but when they return, the promise of comfort makes it seem like a no-brainer to fall back into their arms.
If you ever find yourself in such a situation and you are keen on making the right decision, you should consider the following:
1. Hear them out but don’t take it to heart
Everyone deserves to be listened to, so while you are hurt, you should at least give your prodigal lover a listening ear. However, be careful not to take it to heart because they will most likely use your weaknesses against you.
2. Tell them exactly how you feel
When faced with an ex-lover, be as verbose as possible and tell them exactly how you feel but don’t seek their pity while doing so.
You have the right to be angry, it will certainly give you some closure if you have not yet reached that point.
3. Hang out with other people
While the returnee lover is making moves to woo you back, go on outings with other people (male and female) as much as possible. This is the breath of fresh air you need. It is an escape from the drama and baggage the ex-lover may hauling at your doorstep.
4. Walk away
In some cases, this will not be an easy decision to make, especially when you have not found someone else but you must also see it as creating space for something wonderful to happen.
The moment you choose yourself, you might feel empty or lonely, but don’t forget that there’s a big world out there waiting to be explored.
5. Give them a chance
If you choose to make this decision, it means that you recognise what went wrong and you are convinced that they have changed or you are ready to live with it.
Sure enough, this decision offers comfort and familiarity in addition to what you shared in the past but you must keep in mind that there is also the possibility of getting hurt again.
Whatever you choose to do, remember that things ended for a reason. It’s important to recognise what went wrong and be sure that they are not merely returning to take advantage of you.
As is with every other thing in life, there is the risk of failure but there is also the chance of happy ever after.